prenatal, pre-nesting

The dog watched in a combination of dismay and disbelief as i climbed in and around his kennel with a canister of quick re-load lysol wipes and air freshener/disinfectant spray. He looked down and away as if to say, "no good can come of this." Nonetheless, he smells like a ram's ass (even after his bath two days ago,) and his bed smells like a ram's ass. So at least now the smell won't be quite as potent drifting into my super sensitive mommy nostrils from the corner of the bedroom. Jaeger does not share my affinity for lysol's "fresh open window" scent and has refused to go into his kennel until that smell has died away and he has more possibility of making it wreak again of his own special blend of ram's ass and dog dander. I've been taking each room on its own and dusting the baseboards, cleaning the windows, washing the draperies and carpets, and of course mopping the floors. Today's episode was my bedroom, which included Jaeger's kennel and bedding. Poor pup. I went to the Y today. I skipped yesterday citing my intention to clean. Clean I did, but my panting, lazy ass at the gym today indicated to me that apparently cleaning is not the same as working out. Another lesson learned. I've felt homesick, Matthew lonely, motivated, peppy, dreary, and just plain numb today. My emotions certainly are getting a workout. I've been reading "siblings without rivalry" and just finished first "love and logic: magic for toddlers", then "your second child", then "the doomsday key", then "sepulchre." it feels nice to read for pleasure again. I'm sure all of that will die off for another full year once the baby is born le sigh. I caught myself saying, "but... i don't wanna do that whole labor, delivery, three months of tears from coming off the hormones and lack of sleep thing again," today. I tell myself it's worth it and take another Maalox for the heartburn which reminds me, i ought to buy some more of that. It occurred to me that my diet goes progressively downhill all day. I've got to figure out how to make better lunch choices. In the mean time, salad is definetly out. The sight of a bottle of dressing makes me want to run screaming like my hair is on fire. Maybe I'll try cream cheese. That would make me eat a salad. Sorry- that probably makes you feel ill doesn't it? I have dreams of swimming in vats of cream cheese with organically grown purple grapes. mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. So tomorrow I will take on the hallway, the "laundry room", and the smaller bathroom, and probably begin the living room. I've enjoyed not starting with the kitchen this time. Every time i start at the kitchen, i finish 88% of it and say "oh good lord. i'd rather watch Yo Gabba Gabba with Nick than do this trash." yes. I know. I'm the epitome of motivation. In other news, it's 9:41 and I'm not comatose. This is progress! Well, enough babbling for tonight. Is it October yet? come on, october.

goodnight y'all ;)